I'm new to this and have been lurking around other people's blogs for years and dabbled with my own on myspace, but never felt quite comfortable enough to get into what I really want to say. When the friends list includes family and friends, many of them in "the Church", you can't exactly say what's on the mind of a now non-believer. I used to keep a journal as a child and young adult, so this just might suffice my urge to write. Bear with me as I learn and as all the things that I've wanted to say but couldn't come flooding out in a blob of unorganized free writing.
So, if you are or were a member of the Church, you know that I am talking about the Mormon church. My name is still part of the records. Still part of the growing numbers that they boast. Still making me sick. I should probably have my name removed, but for some reason I still harbor some of the feelings of guilt. I wrote a letter to the Bishop several years back after being harrassed by one of my home teachers asking him to not contact me again- EVER. So far, so good. lol It is difficult when all of your family are Mormon and you don't believe. It's difficult trying to hold back the urge to strangle someone when they think of you as a second class citizen because you didn't get married in the temple. It's infuriating to know that your mother is more concerned with her young women's president calling than what is going on in anyone else's life. Anyone who would sit and think about it for 5 seconds wouldn't believe in such a religion. Why is it that otherwise logical individuals believe in a religion that believes in seer stones, secret names and handshakes and magic underwear? I mean, seriously people. I know, I know- if one of you TBMs happens to stumble across my blog, I already know what you will say, so please spare me. I've been there. Why are you on the internet looking for things about Mormonism? I'll tell you why- it's because you are having doubts and there's nothing wrong with that. Seek out the truth.
Okay, other than the former Mormon angle, I'm a newly registered nurse, so I might blog about that occasionally. Ummm, I'm married, no kids- stop asking. Why is it that people are so rude when it come to the fact that you have been married for over 5 years, yet you don't have kids. For the record you asshole, I haven't tried to get pregnant until recently because I didn't want to. And for the record, you bastard- I had a miscarriage at one point and for those of us that have gone through that tragedy, it's a little hard to get back on the wagon after that. Ugh. So I might have some anger management issues. Actually, it pretty well stays pent up anger, so I guess it's not anger management, IDK.
I live in rural America- where, is not important, but if I told you, you would have some stereotypes- no doubt. I didn't grow up here, so I don't fall into those and can honestly tell you that most of them aren't true anyway.
So, that's all for now. Hope you enjoyed my random thoughts of the day.
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